Ep. 279 The Power of Truly Showing Up with Marcy Axelrod

Have you ever had a conversation, nodded along, and suddenly realized you had no idea what was just said? Or walked into a room only to feel like you were there physically, but your mind was somewhere else entirely?

We all do it. Most of us go through life thinking we’re showing up, but in reality, we’re operating on autopilot far more than we realize.

That’s exactly what I explored with Marcy Axelrod in this week’s episode of To Your Health Podcast. Marcy has spent 20 years researching what it really means to truly show up—not just physically, but with intention, presence, and awareness. And as it turns out, the way we engage with the world affects everything—from our relationships to our careers to our personal growth.

The Three Levels of Showing Up

According to Marcy, there are three ways we tend to show up in life:

1. Barely There

This is survival mode—when you’re running on fumes, overwhelmed, or distracted. You might be sitting in a meeting, having dinner with family, or working on a project, but mentally? You’re not really there. Your brain is checked out, and you’re just trying to make it through.

2. “Just” Showing Up

This is where most people operate. You’re going through the motions, doing what’s expected, checking the boxes—but without much thought or engagement. You’re present, but you’re not fully engaged. This might look like responding to emails without really thinking, nodding along in conversations without truly listening, or working toward a goal without much connection to why it matters.

3. Truly Showing Up

This is the sweet spot—where you’re fully present, intentional, and engaged in the moment. It’s when you’re aware of your surroundings, tuned into your conversations, and genuinely invested in what’s happening. This is where real progress, deeper relationships, and fulfillment happen.

Why Most of Us Are Stuck on Autopilot

Marcy’s research found that most people spend 80% of their time between Barely There and Just Showing Up. That means we’re often missing out on real connection, deeper thinking, and meaningful engagement.

Why?

• Stress and fatigue keep us stuck in survival mode.
• Society rewards busyness over intentional presence.
• We operate transactionally instead of relationally—focusing on getting things done rather than being engaged in the process.

But the good news? Once you recognize where you are, you can start making small shifts to truly show up more often.

How to Move Toward Truly Showing Up

The good news is that you don’t need a massive overhaul of your life to break out of autopilot.

One of the simplest strategies Marcy recommends? Pause before entering a new situation.

Before you walk into a meeting, pick up your kids from school, or sit down for dinner, take a second to:
✔ Take a deep breath. Reset your mind instead of rushing from one thing to the next.
✔ Set an intention. Even something as small as “I want to actually listen and connect right now” can make a difference.
✔ Notice the details. Pay attention to the environment, the people around you, and your own emotions—this helps pull you into the moment.

When you start making these small adjustments, you’ll notice a shift. Life feels richer. Conversations become more meaningful. Your focus sharpens, and your sense of control over your time and energy improves.

Final Thoughts

We can’t expect ourselves to be fully present 100% of the time. That’s not realistic. But if we start recognizing when we’re running on autopilot and actively shifting toward truly showing up, we create more connection, fulfillment, and progress in every area of life.

Where do you think you land most of the time—Barely There, Just Showing Up, or Truly Showing Up?

Listen to the episode: