Ep. 311 How to Stop Quitting in the Middle with Jake Smolarek

Starting something new feels good. There’s excitement, clarity, and motivation.
Finishing feels even better—there’s pride, a sense of accomplishment, and usually a tangible reward.

But the in-between? That’s where things tend to fall apart.

In this conversation with performance coach Jake Smolarek, we dug into why so many people struggle to follow through—and what you can do to change that. If you’re someone who’s great at starting but never quite finishes, this one’s for you.

Why the Middle Is So Hard

Jake explains that the issue often isn’t effort or motivation—it’s identity.

When the version of you you’re trying to become doesn’t align with the version you’ve always been, your subconscious steps in to protect you. This can look like procrastination, perfectionism, or abandoning something just when it starts working. Not because you don’t care—but because deep down, it doesn’t feel safe to change.

Your subconscious is wired to maintain homeostasis. It doesn’t care if your goals are “better.” It cares if they’re familiar. When they’re not, your internal system starts pulling you back toward what it knows—even if what it knows isn’t working.

The Hidden Role of Self-Sabotage

Jake opens up about how this pattern played out in his own life. He used to chase new projects and ideas, always looking for the next big thing. But eventually, he realized he was addicted to the high of starting—not the satisfaction of finishing.

In many cases, the obsession with “what’s next” is actually a form of self-sabotage. It allows us to stay in motion without ever getting uncomfortable. But growth requires discomfort. And often, we need to surrender to that reality rather than trying to hustle past it.

Tools to Navigate the Grind

Jake shares two tools he uses with clients—and in his own life—to stay the course:

1. The 10-80-10 Framework

This model helps normalize the emotional ups and downs of pursuing a goal.

• The first 10% is the honeymoon phase: excitement, newness, vision.

• The middle 80% is the grind: where real change happens, but also where doubt creeps in.

• The last 10% is the payoff—but most people never make it that far.

Understanding this framework helps you stop making the discomfort of the middle mean something is wrong.

2. Vision GPS

Jake describes this as a way to map your internal compass. Instead of setting goals based purely on outcomes, Vision GPS focuses on who you want to become. It’s about aligning your identity with your actions so that following through feels like something you do because of who you are, not just something you’re forcing yourself to do.

How to Make Real Change Stick

This episode isn’t just about mindset—it’s about practical shifts you can make to finally follow through:

• Pay attention to your self-talk. Are you reinforcing an identity that keeps you stuck?

• Stop glamorizing the start. Learn to respect the middle.

• Focus less on what you’re doing and more on who you’re being while you do it.

Personal growth isn’t just about discipline or hustle. It’s about building the internal capacity to become someone who finishes—even when it’s hard.

Final Thoughts

If you’ve ever found yourself stuck in start-stop cycles, or wondering why you quit on goals you genuinely care about, you’re not alone. And you’re not broken.

But you might be trying to grow without shifting the identity that drives your actions.

By understanding the psychology of the middle, and using tools like 10-80-10 and Vision GPS, you can stop quitting and start becoming someone who sees things through.