Ever feel like the Universe is conspiring against you and making it damn near impossible for you to succeed?
You’re not alone.
In today’s review of Surrounded By Setbacks by Thomas Erikson, we’re talking about how to overcome setbacks and put yourself in a position to reach your goals.
You can listen here or by clicking the link below.
Or keep reading the post below:
It is very likely that in the past when you have faced a setback, you have leaned on a default reaction to try to overcome.
The problem with that, though, is that if you continue to think the same way that you always have, you are going to continue to get the same results that you have.
I want to challenge those ingrained beliefs you have about how to overcome setbacks and get you on a new path to managing them in a way that sets you up for success.
Personal Responsibility
There are three types of responsibility you need to take to overcome setbacks and those include:
- everything you do,
- everything you don’t do,
- and your reaction to everything that happens.
This means that in day-to-day life, it is up to you to take control for yourself and make choices that will set you up for long-term success even it may be uncomfortable.
When you have the responsibility to make a decision and you’re tempted to take the safe route, remember that choosing to stay within your comfort zone may let you avoid initial unpleasantness, but you will ultimately pay for it later on.
Learning to act and make choices like the person you want to be despite fear of the unknown is one of the ways you can start to shift your mindset to believing that you will be successful no matter what.
Ultimately you may find that there’s some pushback from those around you who don’t understand the decisions you’re making.
It’s not your job to make them understand.
It’s up to you to put an end to the complaints and the excuses and dig deeper to find the reasons for why you don’t always do the best you can.
You are responsible for you and you get to choose how you will overcome setbacks in your life.
Setbacks Are Inevitable
There’s no way to avoid obstacles or setbacks in life and the time you spend trying to prepare for every possible scenario might actually be better spent learning how to overcome setbacks instead.
Often times the obstacles that you perceive are actually made up in your head to avoid taking action.
Instead of trying to come up to solutions for made up problems, take time to ask yourself how you will respond if an obstacle or setback does arise.
Create a list of question you can ask to help you overcome the setback instead of trying to figure out how you can avoid the obstacle.
Consider these questions:
- Why is this happening?
- What will I do differently going forward?
- On a scale from 0-100, with 0 being everything is fine to 100 being your worst nightmare, where does this obstacle fall?
- Will this matter in five years? (if not, don’t spend more than five minutes trying to “fix” it)
What you’re doing when you ask yourself these questions is reframing the way you will approach the setbacks when they happen going forward.
Phases of Development
There are four phases of development that we can talk about your commitment (will) to do something versus your competence (skill) about how to actually do the thing.
Phase 1: High will, low skill – in this phase you often find yourself very motivated to make a change, but with very little to no idea about how to follow through or even get started.
Phase 2: Low will, low skill – at EA Coaching we often refer to this phase as “The Grind.” When you’re here, the initial high of doing something new has worn off and you’re still not really sure how to do all the things.
Phase 3: Low will, high skill – this is where you will find that you’ve started to gain a better understanding of the actions you need to take, but you may not necessarily be seeing the results as quickly as you expect so the desire hasn’t caught up to the knowledge.
Phase 4: High will, high skill – this. is. it. This is where you start to see that all of the hard work you’ve put in to not only doing the thing, but gaining the knowledge has paid off and there’s light at the end of the tunnel.
Once you’ve made it through all four phases of development you’ll start to see why it was important for you to go through each.
If you’re only ever feeling motivated when you’re excited about the actions (Phases 1 and 4), you’re not really setting yourself up for success.
The work of learning how to keep moving forward when it’s not easy or enjoyable (Phases 2 and 3) is where you build the skills that you need to overcome setbacks.
8 Causes of Failure & Their Solutions
When faced with a setback, it’s up to you to decide if you are going to let it lead to failure or if you’re going to find the solution and keep moving forward.
The following are eight causes of failure that often work together to create the perfect storm to keep you feeling stuck:
- No connection to “why”
- Vague goals
- Taking on too much at once
- Invisible initial results
- Lacking persistence
- Underestimating difficulty in breaking old habits
- Surrounding self with wrong people
- Drifting from path
So what can you do when one or more of these causes is holding you back from reaching your highest potential.
1. To identify “why” – figure out the problem you want to solve but don’t get too stuck on solution.
2. Have direction – be specific about what you are doing and the outcome you want.
3. Take manageable steps – don’t start too much at once. Remember that success increases motivation so start by choosing the thing you know you’ll be successful with and then move on to the more difficult tasks.
4. Small decisions have consequences – choose to believe that you can do something and make the decision to start.
5. “Staying power” – remember that you will be met with setbacks along the way, but don’t let that be an excuse to give up. Consistency and determination are the deciding factors in who will succeed and who will not.
6. Become aware of your bad habits – create a list of habits that aren’t serving you and brainstorm ideas for how to replace or eliminate those.
7. Surround yourself with people who don’t feel threatened by your growth & development – consider the relationships in your life and determine how to approach those people to create boundaries.
8. Remind yourself of your “why” and track behaviors – a consistency tracker can help you see how consistent your being and how the small changes you’re making are having an impact.
When it comes to how to overcome setbacks and set yourself up for success, you get to choose if you are going to have your excuses or your solutions, but you can’t have both.
