How old were you when you first thought about changing your body?
If some of the first weight or body image related experiences from your childhood – like attending WW meetings as a 12-year-old – are still having an impact on how you view yourself today, this episode is for you.
I’m reviewing Mastering Resilience, by Lorry Leigh Belhumeur, and sharing the steps you can take to not only heal yourself but ensure that you break the cycle of self-loathing for the next generation.
Learning to use those adverse experiences to fuel your desire to make positive changes to become the happiest, healthiest, and most confident version of yourself is the first step in changing your story.
You can listen to the episode here…
Or keep reading the post below:
Growth Mindset
First and foremost, mastering resilience requires a growth mindset.
Having a growth mindset means that you believe in yourself enough to shift the mental blocks are preventing you from reaching your goals. It also means believing that you have the ability to learn new things and to develop new skills in order to change your circumstances.
Many people live life in a fixed mindset and spend far too much time convinced that they’re stuck in their current circumstance with no way out. When you develop a growth mindset, however, you are able to see that you have more control than you previously believed.
One way to develop a growth mindset on the way to mastering resilience is by turning the past adversities that you have faced into the fuel that motivates you to live your life, on purpose, for the impact that you want to make on the world.
If you’ve been having trouble motivating yourself to stay committed to your health or weight loss goals, maybe it’s time to stop thinking about it in terms of a number on the scale or any other physical change.
Instead, think about your kids or other young people who see your actions and hear your words. You know that you don’t want them developing the same body image issues that you had as a child so nothing is going to deter you from doing the work to make sure that you don’t continue to perpetuate that cycle.
Use the past experiences that you had that left you with negative thoughts and feelings to fuel you to change both for yourself and for your kids.
AAA of Mastering Resilience
The Triple As (AAA) of mastering resilience are three steps you can follow to help you on the way to changing the narrative you’ve been writing about your life.
Be Aware
Notice what you’re telling yourself about who you are and what you’re saying (or believing) about your body. Really pay attention to the words you’re using, the thoughts you’re having, and how that’s making you feel.
Until you know what you’re currently doing, you don’t know what needs to change so becoming aware of the thoughts that you’re having is the first step.
Acknowledge the Truth
The truth of the matter, no matter what the specific thought, is that you have intrinsic value. Simply by virtue of being a person, you are valuable and your worth is not tied to your past.
Something as simple as changing your posture and sitting upright can shift the negative and untrue feelings you’re having.
Take Action
Being aware and acknowledging the truth are pushing you towards taking action.
Despite the negative thoughts you may have felt previously, once you follow through on the previous steps, you’ll find yourself in a position to continue moving towards your goal. You may need to revisit your “why” – the reason you’re making the effort in the first place – but you’ll find it easier to get back on track with the awareness and acknowledgement under your belt.
Self-Compassion & Putting Yourself First
Developing self-compassion allows you to recognize the difference between “I made a bad decision” and “I’m bad.” Being compassionate towards yourself in those moments, fuels resilience and improves your ability to cope.
Having the self-compassion to recognize that perfection is an unrealistic ideal and that you have inherent worth will make you more likely to stay committed, stay consistent, and keep your confidence intact, even when your circumstances are less than ideal.
One way that you can develop self-compassion is by practicing putting yourself first.
You may be thinking that putting yourself first seems too selfish and you just can’t do that, especially if you have people pleasing tendencies, so one thing you can do to take a step in the right direction, is first work on making yourself equal to the other people in your life.
That said, you do deserve to be first in your own life sometimes and Lorry reminds us that putting yourself first actually fuels you so that you have more to give to other people.
If you’re ready to put yourself first so you’re creating the life you deserve and the life you want your family to see you living, head over to estheravant.com/coaching to see how we can help.
